Should Christian Couples Get Married Young?

We heard so many unwarranted opinions like

“But you have so much life ahead”

“Are you sure?”

“Don’t you want to experience other people first?”

“Don’t you want to see what it’s like to be single?”

“You guys need to learn how to be an adult first and then you can think about marriage”

Almost every person we told thought we were crazy. For context we had been together four and a half years by the time we got married. This upcoming February we are going to reach seven years of being together and our third year of marriage.

I see a lot of debate on whether people should get married young, especially in Christian circles and here is what I would have to say to that:

If you cannot understand the concept of commitment and sacrifice of your own desires, you are not ready for marriage.

Perhaps the best scripture about marriage comes from Paul when he is writing to the church in Ephesus; he writes

Ephesians 5:22-26

²² Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, ²³ because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything. ²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word.

Women, it is a command that you submit to your husband as you would to The Lord. This does not mean blind submission to an unworthy man. This means you should strive to find a man that he himself strives to represent Christ in all that he does. A man who is slow to anger, full of compassion, quick to love, and ready to forgive. Nonetheless, the calling of a wife is undoubtedly to submit to her husband, as to Christ. This is a daily choice you must make, just as you must make the choice daily to pick up your cross and carry it (Luke 9:23). This does not mean you are not strong; this does not mean you should not speak up when your husband is out of line, it simply means you willingly and lovingly choose to submit to his God given role to be the head (leader) of you and your family.

Men, it is a command that you love your wife just as Christ loves His church, being willing to die for her. This means you speak to your lovely wife with respect, compassion, love, care, and gentleness. This means that you put her needs first, and yours last. This means that you are to be a servant-leader. Furthermore, this means that you must lead your wife and family spiritually, emotionally. You must choose to love daily, just as you would choose to pick up your cross daily. You must not lead your family into temptation, or to bad spots. You are responsible for their well-being! 

These are the roles that God has laid out for a marriage whether you are 18 or 95. If you cannot accept God's beautiful design for marriage, you are not ready.

Now don't misunderstand what I am trying to convey to you; you will not be perfect. A true relationship is filled with flaws, mistakes, frustration, pain, and bad moments, but it is how you choose to work through those things that will define your relationship with your significant other.

Let's Check out what Paul says about true love in Corinthians:

1st Corinthians 13: 4-7

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not arrogant, ⁵ is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not irritable, and does not keep a record of wrongs. ⁶ Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. ⁷ It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

If you and your significant other can accept these truths and live by them and you are longing to be with the one you love for the rest of your life—then do it! Who cares what anyone else says. Was getting married easy? Yes, it was. Has it been easy becoming an adult? No, but it has been easier doing it with my best friend by my side. I can also promise you this—the people you are seeing to “experience others” are not the ones to settle down with.

Find someone that loves you unconditionally, that loves you when they don’t feel like it.

Find someone who chooses to love you during your worst moments.

Love through the pain and hardship, through the toxic traits and red flags, work through them all together! If you can do that, your relationship will flourish.